


Scenes From the Cutting Room Floor: Season Three

by SupernaturalPrincess9



Series: Scenes From the Cutting Room Floor [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angsty Schmoop, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Wincest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-11
Updated: 2015-04-11
Packaged: 2018-03-22 08:52:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 20,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3722806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SupernaturalPrincess9/pseuds/SupernaturalPrincess9
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My interpretation of the scenes we didn't see on the show, exploring the Wincest dynamic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Magnificent Seven (Prelude)

**Author's Note:**

> This series is 100% in sync with canon events/people/places. It can be read as a stand-alone story or be read in conjunction with watching the episodes. Most scenes are postlude - either an extension of the last scene or a new scene. Any scenes that are pre-episode are noted as "prelude" and any scenes that occur at some point during the episode are noted as "intermission".

Sam and Dean were at a local watering hole, having a few drinks. Things had been a little awkward between them since the night they had crossed the final line. In the moment, things had been great, amazing… even unbelievably sweet and romantic.

But in the harsh light of day, there were times when things were just a little off. Like maybe Sam read too much into something Dean said and a lot like Dean was trying to process the fact that he only had a year left and was letting that cloud his judgment.

There were a couple of girls at the bar who had caught Dean’s eye. Sam was trying like hell to not get jealous of Dean’s open appraisal of them, but it was hard. The longer they stayed, the more resentful Sam got. His resentment manifested itself in short answers and snippy responses, which only served to drive Dean away.

As the night wore on and the brothers continued to wear on each other, Dean eventually stood up and went over to the girls, turning on the charm. Sam watched Dean touch their arms and slide his hands around their waists. When Dean reached up and tucked one girl’s hair gently behind her ear, Sam wanted to scream in rage. 

It wasn’t long before Dean had the girls back at their table, looking at Sam expectantly.

At first Sam thought Dean wanted to have a foursome, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about that. Actually he did know how he felt about that: that was never going to happen. What he and Dean shared would only ever be between them. 

Then he realized that Dean had no intention of including him. Sam was surprised when he realized that disappointed him. He knew, though, it was because he and Dean hadn’t slept together since the night Dean killed Azazel. Sam wanted and needed Dean’s touch.

But he wouldn’t get it tonight.

Sam sighed and paid their tab, following Dean and the two girls out to the Impala.

When they got to the motel, Dean looked over at Sam. “You don’t mind waitin’ out here, do ya Sammy?” Dean asked, patting his brother’s knee and then exiting the car without waiting for a response..

Sam looked at Dean’s retreating back, his face neutral, masking his churning emotions. “Sure, Dean. No problem.” Sam said in the silence of the car.

Dean took the girls into the motel room and before closing the drapes he gave Sam two thumbs up and a big grin. Sam felt like he’d been slapped. Repeatedly.

Sam held back his tears and tried to remind himself that his brother had less than a year to live and this probably wasn’t the last time he was going to have to suffer through a scene like this before the year was up.


	2. The Magnificent Seven (Postlude)

“I got a year to live, Sam, and I’d like to make the most of it. So what do you say we kill some evil sons of bitches and we raise a little hell, huh?” Dean threw Sam a jaunty look as he opened the door to the Impala.

“You’re unbelievable.” Sam said, shaking his head.

“Very true.” Dean replied, a glint in his eye. A week before, that glint would have sent Sam into Dean’s arms, kissing him, holding him. Now, it just confused Sam and made him a little sad.

Dean guided the Impala out onto the main road, wanting so much to bring Sam next to him, to feel his brother’s touch but he was afraid. Deep down he was afraid that if he didn’t put some space between himself and his brother, Sam would be too devastated to go on once he was gone. 

Sam leaned his head back on the head rest and let the purr of the Impala’s engine lull him into a light sleep.

Dean looked over at Sam. He had circles under his eyes and there was a tension visible under the surface of his expression; he definitely didn’t look relaxed. Dean knew he had a lot to do with what was wrong with his brother.

“Sammy.” Dean said, after turning down the music.

“What?” Sam said without opening his eyes. Sam was hurt and in the mood to brood. He didn’t appreciate Dean trying to ruin this high quality time he was trying to have with himself.

“C’mere.” Dean said, patting the seat next to him.

Sam shook his head and looked away, saying nothing. A hug wasn’t going to fix things. Not really. Dean owed him an apology and maybe even a little groveling. What hurt Sam the most was that they’d shared a beautiful experience together and before they could do it again… Dean slept with not one but two women. At the same time.

Dean sighed and refocused his attention on the road ahead. He waited until he found a safe place to pull off and then he did so. Sam didn’t speak until the Impala came to a full stop.

“What are you doing, Dean?”

Dean put the Impala in Park and slid across the seat, reaching for Sam’s hand. Sam tried to pull his hand away but Dean held on. “Sammy…” he whispered. “I’m sorry.”

Sam looked at him with a flash of anger. “Yeah? What happened to not letting anything come between us? That went by the wayside pretty quickly, didn’t it?”

Dean hung his head and sighed. Sam had every right to be angry. “I am sorry, Sammy. I’m not handling things too good, ya know?” Dean looked up into Sam’s eyes. “I… I could get lost in you and I’m pretty certain you could get lost in me… but then when I’m gone… what happens to you?”

Sam looked out the window, fighting off tears. “I don’t know, man.” Sam responded softly. “I don’t know…” 

Sam was already lost in Dean. The feelings he had for Dean were unlike any he’d ever had. They were all wrapped up together in a package that could never be unraveled: brotherhood, friendship, love, passion, need, desire, want, family… Sam didn’t know where one ended and the others began anymore.

Dean reached over and pulled Sam into his arms. “Sammy… I’m gonna fuck up.” Dean huffed out a breath. “I’ll probably fuck up a lot… but I need you… and I need us. More than anything. I know I’m asking a lot of you… to just be here and take the shit I’m probably going to serve up, but I don’t know what else to do…”

Sam caught Dean’s lips with his, kissing him deeply and pulling him closer, ending their embrace with a lingering hug. “I’ll try, Dean… “ Sam promised. “That’s the best I can do.”

Dean leaned back and kissed Sam softly. “I know, little brother. I can’t ask anymore of you than that.”

Sam leaned back and framed Dean’s face with his hands. “You know it’s too late, right? I’ve already lost myself in you, Dean.” Sam whispered.

Dean blinked back tears. Yeah, he knew that. And he knew that it was the same for him. Dean pulled Sam into a slow kiss. When they broke apart, Dean rested his forehead against Sam’s. “I know, Sammy. And I’ve already lost myself in you, too.”

Sam sighed. “This is so hard, Dean.” 

Dean pulled Sam into a hug. “I know it is, Sammy. I know.”

Dean released Sam with one last kiss and then he slid back across the bench seat, tugging Sam with him. “Need you next to me, Sammy.”

Sam smiled at Dean. “Ok, Dean.”

Sam had no idea what the next day would bring, but he’d take these moments of closeness whenever he could get them.


	3. The Kids Are Alright

“I can help you save your brother.” Ruby said to Sam. She flicked her blonde hair over her shoulder and waited for Sam to respond. It didn’t take long.

Sam turned away and ran his hand through his hair. “Don’t lie to me!” Sam hissed, wanting so much to believe that there was a way out of the deal for Dean. 

Sam needed for there to be a way out. He couldn’t lose Dean. He knew he’d never survive it. Sam was determined to get Dean out of his deal, keeping them both alive and together just as they should be.

Ruby walked toward Sam, measuring her next words. “You know demons lie. But you also know we sometimes tell the truth.” Ruby paused. 

Sam snorted, itching to grab the holy water and dispatch this demon back to hell. But she had his interest: a potential way out for Dean and Sam wanted to grab that hope with both hands.

“I know what’s happening between you and Dean, Sam.” Ruby said, her voice low. “I know what the two of you do to one another in the dark, Sam. Sometimes you’re not very careful with the drapes and I’ve seen the way you two devour each other… the desperation rolls out of your motel room in waves. You aren’t going to be able to go on once Dean’s gone.”

Sam spun around, his face crimson, wanting so much to deny it but unable to. Sam’s eyes welled with tears. “Don’t talk about that…” Sam whispered. “Don’t taint it with your evil.”

Ruby held her hands up and stepped back. “Hey… I’m not trying to.” Ruby looked into Sam’s eyes. “Nothing I say could touch it, Sam. Don’t you know that you and Dean are soul mates?”

Sam looked at Ruby in surprise. He wished he knew whether or not she was telling the truth.

Ruby’s eyes widened. They didn’t know. How delicious. “Well, Sam… this is a surprise. All this time you two just thought you were… what? Depraved? Breaking society’s rules and not giving a fuck?”

Sam took a menacing step forward. He wanted to punch Ruby in the face, but he held himself in check because somewhere inside that body was a scared girl. 

Ruby looked into his eyes with a sympathetic look on her face. “Hey… no judging from me. I know the lives you guys lead. It’s tough out there. I do worry about you though… when that deal comes due and Dean leaves you all alone…” Ruby tsked and shook her head in sorrow. “The fact that you’re soul mates on top of everything else is going to break your heart, Sam.”

Sam dashed his tears away with the palms of his hands as he turned away from Ruby. He didn’t want her to see him cry. “Don’t you think I know that?” Ruby heard the anguish in Sam’s voice. “Every time Dean and I are… together… I hold on so tight because I know that when’s he’s gone…”

“So… let me help you.” Ruby said softly. “Trust me, Sam.”

When Sam turned to tell Ruby he would, he found himself alone. Ruby was gone. Sam huffed out a breath, wondering if – and hoping to hell – she’d be back.


	4. Bad Day at Black Rock

Sam and Dean dragged their stuff into the motel room. Bela had their $49,000 in game tickets, but they had each other. Sam dropped his duffel on his bed and then went into the bathroom to tend to his shoulder.

Dean got out the first aid kit and followed. 

“Through and through, Dean.” Sam said as he looked at the entrance and exit wounds in his deltoid.

Dean leaned up and kissed Sam quickly and gave him a smile. “That’s good news, Sammy.” Dean got the antiseptic out and put some on a cotton ball. “Gonna sting…”

Sam braced himself and grimaced as the antiseptic did its job. “That Bela… I hope we don’t run into her again.”

Dean nodded as he continued to tend to Sam’s wound. “Yeah, man. I hate her. She’s a terrible person. I think you and I can agree that I have my faults, but shit… I look like a god damned saint next to her.”

Sam wrapped his good arm around Dean’s waist. “You’re not a bad person, Dean.” Sam kissed Dean’s stomach to drive the point home.

Dean looked down at Sam. “No? Well, I’ve been a dick to you. And probably will be again.” Dean looked away, readying a needle so he could sew Sam’s wound up. “Sorry, Sammy.”

Sam patted Dean’s butt and wrapped his good arm around him again. “’S ok, Dean.”

Dean turned back and began sewing up the entrance wound. “5 stitches each side, Sammy. Hang in there.”

Sam closed his eyes and let Dean work. A minute later, Dean whispered, “I was scared, Sammy… when you lost that rabbit foot… I was afraid you were gonna die before I could get it back. I was sick to my stomach thinking about you alone while I went after Bela.”

Sam opened one of his eyes and looked at Dean. “I was scared, too. I didn’t want to die without you by my side… I was afraid I’d never get to kiss you again.”

Dean smiled down at Sam as he tied his last knot. When he was done, he leaned down and kissed Sam. It was sweet with just a little heat behind it because Dean wasn’t sure if Sam was ready for more again after the last few days. Sam returned the kiss and looked a little sad when Dean broke it.

“Let’s get ready for bed, Sammy.” Dean whispered. “If you don’t wanna sleep right away… I feel like a little making out might be nice…”

Sam smiled at Dean, his eyes full of the love he felt for the man in front of him. He wanted to believe that Dean was his soul mate, but he wasn’t sure he could trust Ruby. He loved the thought of it, though.

“Sounds good, Dean.” Sam stood, kissed Dean and thanked him for tending to his wounds before brushing his teeth. He couldn’t wait to get into bed with Dean.

When Sam exited the bathroom, Dean was already in bed, naked. He had the sheets thrown back and he was already half hard. Sam sucked in a breath as his eyes roamed over Dean’s body. Dean’s smiled turned into a leer as he winked at Sam.

“Like what you see, little brother?”

Sam met Dean’s eyes. “Hell yes.” 

Sam quickly stripped off his clothes and slid into bed next to Dean. Dean wrapped his arms around Sam, pulling him close as he took Sam’s lips into a heated kiss. Sam moaned into Dean’s mouth as Dean slid his hand down his side and around until he was gripping Sam’s ass. Dean pulled their hips together and Sam moaned again when he felt how hard Dean was against him.

Dean kissed Sam with abandon as he ground their hips together. Sam’s cock began to leak as Dean’s touches left him breathless. As Dean began kissing his way down Sam’s neck, Sam tilted his head back to give him better access.

“Thought we were just gonna do a little making out…” Sam gasped as Dean’s hand wrapped itself around his cock.

Dean swirled his tongue around Sam’s nipple before taking it between his teeth and gently nibbling on it. He lifted his head and smiled at Sam. “What can I say, Sammy? I can never get enough of you.”

Sam took Dean’s face in his hands and pulled him up for a kiss. “I feel the exact same way about you.” Sam whispered against Dean’s lips. Dean kissed Sam again and then reinitiated his descent down his body. Dean kissed and licked his way down Sam’s torso and Sam watched every move, getting more and more turned on with every touch.

When Dean’s face was hovering over Sam’s cock, Sam held his breath as he watched Dean study it. Dean looked at the precome oozing from the tip, he looked at the length of it, the little veins… the smoothness of the skin covering the head. He looked up at Sam with wide eyes. “I love your cock, Sammy.”

Sam closed his eyes and moaned. Dean was so sexual and Sam loved that about him. And hot. Dean was fucking hot as hell. Sam looked back down to see what Dean would do next.

Dean wrapped his hand around Sam’s cock and pulled it up, so that he was looking at the tip. Dean raised his eyes and watched Sam as he rubbed the tip slowly over his lips, painting them with Sam’s precome. Sam moaned, “Fuck… Jesus Christ… Dean…”

Dean moved his lips away from Sam’s cock – just a bit – and then slowly ran his tongue over his lips, making a show out of licking up Sam’s essence. Sam reached down and gently ran his thumb over Dean’s cheek. “I love you so fucking much, Dean.”

Dean turned his head and kissed Sam’s hand. “I know.” 

Dean returned his attention to Sam’s cock. Holding Sam’s gaze with his own, Dean sucked him down deep, letting his lids flutter as the tip of Sam’s cock hit the back of his throat. Sam’s moan was strangled as he twisted his hands in the sheets. After all that teasing he wasn’t going to last long.

Dean hollowed his cheeks to ensure that the suction was just right as he wrapped his fingers around Sam. He sucked and licked and stroked and Sam’s hips bucked and twisted as his orgasm approached. Dean flattened his tongue and worked the sensitive area right behind the tip and with one last stroke, Sam yelled out his release.

Dean closed his eyes and let himself feel how Sam’s cock pulsed in his mouth. He loved the sensation of it… he loved the taste of Sam flooding his senses. He swallowed Sam’s come and then placed soft kisses over his cock as it slowly softened.

Dean kissed his way back up Sam’s body to find a wrecked Sam panting and breathless. Dean smiled in satisfaction as he softly kissed Sam. Sam wrapped his arms around Dean and held him tight. “Oh my god… Dean… that was…” Sam kissed Dean’s cheek. “The most amazing blow job of my entire life. Holy fuck…”

Dean rolled to the side and looked down at Sam. “I’m getting’ pretty good at that, huh?”

Sam blinked up at Dean, feeling completely fucked stupid. “Yeah… yeah… it was… fuck.”

Dean smiled and kissed Sam again. “Glad you liked it, Sammy.”

Sam brought Dean’s face back to his for another kiss. “Fucking loved it, Dean. Now…” Sam said as he rolled on top of Dean, “Let’s see what I can do.”

Dean kissed Sam hungrily. “Yeah, let’s…”


	5. Sin City

Dean couldn’t stop thinking about Sam pointing the Colt at the demons, completely oblivious to the fact that Dean had asked him to wait. He’d shot without mercy. Without asking questions. And that wasn’t like Sam. No matter what Bobby said about Sam saving his life… Dean still couldn’t stop thinking about how cold Sam had been as he’d shot both demons, killing the people they were possessing without a single thought.

While Dean bid Bobby good-bye, Sam had a confrontation with Ruby. She kept dangling getting Dean out of his deal but she hadn’t delivered a thing yet. And Sam struggled with that. When he’d held the Colt to her throat, she’d goaded him.

“Go ahead. That’s not going to do much for Dean though.” Ruby’s eyes flashed as she challenged Sam. “So what’s it gonna be? Hmm?” 

When Sam reset the gun, Ruby smiled at him in satisfaction. “That’s my boy. This won’t be easy, Sam. You’re gonna have to do things that go against that gentle nature of yours. There’ll be collateral damage, but it has to be done.”

“Well, I won’t have to like it.” Sam said as he turned away.

“No.” Ruby said, “You wouldn’t be Sam if you did. On the bright side, I’ll be there with you. That little fallen angel on your shoulder.”

Ruby left the motel room without another word. Sam stared at the wall and thought about his options. He could kill her, believe her or ignore her. He’d wanted so much to pull the trigger of the Colt and dispatch her back to hell, but he hadn’t been able to, and for that, Ruby mocked his gentle nature.

Based on the way Ruby kept showing up, Sam knew it would be nearly impossible to ignore her. He was left with one option: to believe her. He could at least admit to himself that he wanted – and maybe even needed – to believe her; he needed to believe there was a way to keep Dean safe and with him.

Sam turned and continued to pack his duffel. Moments later Dean walked in; his conversation with Bobby and whether or not Sam was still Sam fresh in his mind. 

_How certain are you that what you brought back, is 100% pure Sam?_

“Hey, Sam.” He said as he walked to his bed and began stuffing stuff in his duffel.

“Hey.” Sam said quietly, pausing his packing, hoping Dean would come to him… maybe hold him or whatever. He waited for several seconds. Dean didn’t even look his way, so Sam resumed packing with a heavy heart. 

Dean glanced over at Sam, watching him pack. Sam looked worried and pensive.

Dean sighed and put his last shirt in his duffel. He was being silly. There was nothing wrong with Sam. His brother was his brother and he was still good. So he shot some demons. He was efficient, that was all.

Dean walked toward Sam. As he approached, Sam looked up and Dean watched hope wash over his face. It was all he needed to convince him that Sam was still the Sam he’d loved since the first time he saw him.

Dean wrapped Sam up in a hug and held him tight. “Sammy…”

Sam held Dean just as tightly. “Thank you…” he whispered, so grateful Dean had bridged the distance to give him this moment of closeness.

Dean kissed Sam’s neck, letting his lips linger on his pulse, savoring his scent. “So…” Dean’s sultry voice was hot against Sam’s ear. “I’m thinking when we find a place tonight… we should do a little makin’ out.”

Sam swallowed, his stomach muscles tensing with excitement at the thought. “Yeah, Dean… that would be… amazing. I’d love that.”

Dean leaned back and kissed Sam, giving him a little preview of the passion he had in store later that night. Sam moaned into Dean’s mouth. “Yeah… god, yeah…”

“Mmmm… Sammy…” Dean breathed out. “For a little brother, you’re pretty hot…”

Sam blushed and punched Dean, “Shut up, dude…”

Dean winked at Sam saucily and went back to packing with a little more purpose. He wanted to make good time to their destination so he could spend more time with Sam.

Dean needed Sam and Sam needed Dean. That was all that mattered.


	6. Bedtime Stories

“You’re gonna let Dean out of his deal right now. He lives. I live. You live. Everyone goes home happy.” Sam pulled back his arm, flicking the safety off on the Colt and then reaiming, “Or you stop breathing. Permanently.”

The Crossroads Demon began circling Sam. “All this tough talk. I have to tell you, it’s not very convincing. I mean, c’mon Sam… do you even want to break the deal?”

“What do you think?” Sam asked, desperation visible in his eyes. Breaking this deal was the only thing he could think about.

The demon spun around and looked at Sam. “I don’t know. Aren’t you tired of cleaning up Dean’s messes? Dealing with that broken psyche of his? Aren’t you tired of being bossed around like a snot-nosed little brother? You’re stronger than Dean. You’re better than him.”

Sam kept the gun pointed at the demon. “Watch your mouth.” Sam’s stomach churned with anger as the demon disparaged his brother. This demon wouldn’t live past this encounter. Sam Winchester wasn’t going to let anyone talk like that about Dean.

“Admit it,” the demon said, “going through the motions but the truth is you’ll be a tiny bit relieved when he’s gone.”

Sam furrowed his brows. “Shut up.” Sam knew the demon was trying to piss him off, but he was going to keep his wits about him and find a way to break this deal.

“No more desperate, sloppy, needy Dean. You can finally be free.” the demon smiled at Sam, and Sam could see from the look on her face that she knew about what he and Dean meant to one another. She knew what they did.

“I said shut up!” Sam growled in anger. It infuriated Sam to think that the knowledge of their relationship had made its way through the demon community. Briefly, he wondered if Ruby were to blame.

“Huh. Doth protest too much if you ask me.” the Demon taunted Sam. Sam was afraid that she was going to say something overt about the relationship he and Dean shared. The thought filled Sam with disgust so he went on the offensive.

“I’ve had enough of your crap. You let Dean out of his deal right now.” Sam demanded.

“Sorry sweetheart, but your brother’s an adult. He made that deal of his own free will. Fair and square. It’s iron clad.” the demon smirked at Sam.

“Every deal can be broken.” Sam insisted.

The demon turned and looked at Sam. “Not this one.” This demon was telling the truth, while Ruby was doing nothing but lying. But she wasn’t going to tell Sam that. She’d let him decide.

“Fine. Then I’ll kill you. If you’re gone, so’s the deal.” Sam hoped to god that was how this worked. Seemed to easy though… Sam was starting to believe that there wasn’t any way out of this.

The demon laughed. “Guess again.”

“What.” Sam demanded.

“Sam, I’m just a saleswoman. I got a boss like everybody. He holds the contract. Not me. He wants Dean’s soul. Bad. And believe me… he’s not gonna let it go.” Sam could hear the truth in her words, as much as he hated it. So he denied.

“You’re bluffing.” Sam wanted that to be true.

“Am I? Shoot me, if it’ll get you off. But the deal still holds. And when Dean’s time is up, he’s getting dragged to the pit.” Sam heard the words, imagined it. It made him want to fall to his knees.

“Then who’s your boss? Who owns the contract?” Sam was desperate for answers, he was ready to grab at any straw.

“He’s not as cuddly as me, I can tell you that.” the demon was enjoying playing with Sam’s emotions. She knew he wouldn’t shoot her, so why not have a little fun at his expense?

“Who is it?” Sam said, defeat apparent on his face. He knew now, for sure, that this demon couldn’t help him. And Ruby probably couldn’t either.

“I can’t tell you. I’m sorry, Sam, but there’s no way out of this one. Not this time.” The demon tried to look sympathetic, but she couldn’t quite hide her smile. And that infuriated Sam. He hadn’t planned on letting her live anyway, but now she’d just ensured that he’d follow through with his original intent.

Sam shot the Crossroads Demon in the head, without a flinch. He looked down at the woman lying in the road and felt a pang of regret for ending her life… but seeing her there, dead, wasn’t what made him fall to his knees.

No – it was what she had said about there being no way out for Dean that made him cry out into the darkness of the night.

“Fuck!” Sam shouted, tears rolling down his face. “Fuck!”

Sam pounded his fists in the dirt, cursing everything and everyone. “Can’t lose him…” he whispered to no one but himself. “Oh god… I can’t lose him. Not now… I gotta… I gotta find a way outta this.” Sam brought his hands to his face and sobbed.

“Someone please help me… I can’t do this alone…” Sam moaned. “Not Dean…”

The stars in the sky were the only witness to Sam’s anguish and pain as his sobs dissolved into a keening wail that echoed through the fields. 

Eventually, Sam regained his composure. He crawled to where he’d planted the box and then dug it back up. Sam stood and looked up into the night sky. “Does anyone even hear me?” Sam whispered. “Does anyone even care?”

Invisible to Sam’s eyes, two beings watched him in his grief. The arch angel Michael looked at Castiel, another angel of the Lord. “These hairless apes are noisy.” Michael sniffed disdainfully. “I don’t know why our father is so fascinated with them.”

Castiel watched Sam wearily shuffle to the Impala, his face still bearing the traces of his grief. “Can we not help them? This one seems especially upset. Should we not answer his prayer?”

Michael snorted contemptuously. “Oh, Castiel! Always with the compassion. Just because they call doesn’t mean we have to answer. Besides, this one and his brother… we need for things to go a certain way. This is just the beginning. So we shall not intervene, only observe.”

Castiel watched as Sam slid behind the wheel of the Impala, placing the box he’d used at the crossroads on the seat next to him. Sam wrapped his fingers around the steering wheel, feeling the leather. He thought about how many times Dean’s hands had been right here… and how many times Dean’s hands had been on him. Sam laid his forehead on the backs of his hands and cried.

Michael watched and peeled his lips back in disgust. “This one is weak, Castiel. I’m starting to wonder if he’ll serve our purpose. Perhaps it is the demon blood that courses through his veins.”

Castiel looked at Sam. All he saw was a man who tried to save his brother and failed. He didn’t understand why Michael was disgusted. He thought this man was noble. 

Michael took one last look at the pathetic man and sighed. “Let us go now.”

Unaware of the beings, Sam took a few deep breaths. He’d never felt more alone in his life. He needed to get back to Dean – to feel Dean in his arms, so he sped back to the motel, hoping that Dean hadn’t awoken to find him gone. When he snuck back into the room, Dean was snoring away. Sam quietly hid his box in his duffel and slipped into the bathroom to get ready for bed.

When he went back into the main room, Dean was rubbing his eyes. “Sammy?”

Sam slid into Dean’s bed, uncaring that he wasn’t invited. “Dean.” Sam said as he pulled his brother into his arms.  
Dean snuggled into Sam’s embrace and kissed his shoulder. “Missed you…” Dean muttered as he settled in to sleep.

Sam kissed Dean’s forehead. “Missed you, too, Dean. A lot.”

Dean made sleepy kissy noises with his lips as he patted Sam’s shoulder. “Should always be sleepin’ with me, Sammy. Stop goin’ to the other bed, k?” Dean mumbled as he was pulled back under into sleep.

Sam felt tears gather behind his eyes again. He didn’t know what he’d do when he didn’t have this anymore. Sam tried to sleep, but he couldn’t stop thinking about losing Dean. 

It was nearly 3 AM when Sam finally convinced himself that the Crossroads Demon hadn’t told the whole truth about there being no hope. With that settled, he allowed himself to finally sleep.


	7. Red Sky at Morning (Intermission)

It was late when the boys got back to the house they were squatting in. Sam was still trying to recover from Gert’s groping and Dean was still pissed at himself for letting Bela get the best of him. Sam had looked incredible in his tux. Dean could imagine them, somewhere fine… maybe dancing a waltz together. Dean’s eyes widened at the thought. He could _never_ say that out loud. To anyone. Ever.

Sam led the way into the house and Dean followed, totally and unabashedly checking out Sam’s ass. It was fine and he was tired of not being able to grab it. So, Dean grabbed Sam’s ass as they walked through the door.

“Dean!” Sam let out a laugh. “What’re you doing?”

Dean pushed Sam up against the wall. “Helping you forget all of Gert’s groping.”

Sam groaned into Dean’s mouth as he kissed him. “God… she was so… handsy.” She was a nice enough woman, attractive for her age… but Sam had felt like a gigantic piece of meat all night. It truly gave him some newfound insights into how women must often feel. As Dean’s tongue slid across Sam’s lips and into his mouth, Sam forgot about being a feminist for the moment and focused on kissing his brother.

Dean held Sam’s face with his hands, making their kiss dirty and needy. Sam was panting heavily when Dean broke their kiss and began unbuttoning Sam’s shirt. “She was handsy, huh? Well, Sammy… I’m about to show you handsy.”

Sam gasped as Dean went for his belt. “Don’t you think we should find Bela… and the hand?” That was the last thing Sam wanted right now, but he thought he should offer.

Dean looked Sam in the eye. “No. I don’t. I need some time with you, Sam.”

Sam kissed Dean furiously. “Need time with you, too, Dean… please…”

Dean went back to kissing Sam as he continued to strip off his tux. “Sammy… you looked so hot tonight. Fuck, man…”

Sam moaned as Dean trailed his tongue down his neck. “Yeah? Well, you were hotter, man… you were… beautiful.”

Dean bit the skin of Sam’s neck. “Mmm… Sammy…” Dean undid Sam’s pants and slid them and boxers to the floor. Dean looked down and noted Sam’s hard on, smiling hungrily. “Yeah… Sammy… so hot.”

Sam grabbed Dean and spun him around, pushing him up against the wall as he worked at stripping his brother. Some buttons went flying and Dean laughed. “Gert’s gonna be pissed about those charges, Sammy.”

Sam dropped to his knees and tugged Dean’s pants and boxers off. As soon as Dean’s cock was free, Sam grabbed it and swallowed it down… sucking and licking, playing with his brother’s balls as he gave him head. Dean’s head was moving side to side with his moans. 

It was clear Sam didn’t give a shit about extra rental charges for Gert.

Sam licked his way up Dean’s body and kissed him deeply. “Want you…” Sam breathed out into Dean’s mouth.

Dean moaned as Sam sucked his lower lip, stroking it with his tongue. Dean loved Sam’s tongue. As Sam ground his hips into Dean’s, Dean knew what he wanted tonight. He grabbed Sam’s face and kissed him hard. 

“Inside me, Sammy…” Dean gasped into Sam’s mouth. “Need you inside me, Sammy…”

Sam pulled his head back and looked at Dean. He saw the need in Dean’s eyes and knew it was reflected in his own. Sam grabbed Dean’s hand and led him quickly up the stairs. There wasn’t much in the way of furniture in the abandoned house, but there was a bed and that’s where they were headed. 

Sam pushed Dean down onto the bed and kissed him. “Be right back.”

Sam strode over to his duffel, grabbing the lube. When he turned, Dean was lying face down in the bed, offering his ass to Sam. Sam’s breath caught at the sight. He was going to be inside Dean. He’d wanted to be there for so long… and it was about to happen.

Sam crawled up next to Dean as he rubbed lube on his fingers. Sam kissed Dean’s shoulder softly. “Dean…” Sam whispered.

When Dean turned his head, Sam kissed him slowly. As he drew away, Sam smiled and said, “I love you, Dean.”

Dean smiled back at Sam. “I love you, too, Sammy.” Dean dropped his voice to a low growl. “Hurry, Sammy… please…” 

Sam recaptured Dean’s lips in a deep kiss as he began prepping him. He let their tongues twine together as he slid a finger inside Dean, moving it around, beginning the gentle stretching he knew Dean would need to enjoy this. When he slid a second finger inside his brother, Dean moaned into his mouth, “Yeah, Sammy… feels good.”

Sam moaned when he hit Dean’s prostate. He felt Dean tighten around him and shuddered as new sensations coursed through him. Sam smiled a little into Dean’s mouth as they continued kissing. Sam stroked his fingers at the same angle, driving Dean crazy with need.

Dean panted into Sam’s mouth as he adjusted to the motions of Sam’s fingers. “Fuck… Sammy…” Dean moaned as Sam hit his prostate again. “I need you… please…”

Sam worked a third finger inside Dean and started to fuck him with his fingers. Dean began matching Sam’s pace, thrusting his ass backwards to fuck himself on Sam’s fingers. Sam slid his fingers free, and teased Dean with just the tip of one.

Dean broke their kiss as he whined in his throat, desperate for Sam to continue. “Sammy… don’t stop… please don’t stop.”

Sam teased Dean’s lips with his tongue as he thrust all three fingers back inside of Dean, causing his brother’s hips to buck and a moan to escape his lips. “Yeah… fuck yeah… Sammy… I’m ready… I’m ready… please…”

Sam loved the way Dean was begging for his touch. It made him feel so loved and wanted whenever Dean got this way. Sam wanted to give Dean everything he needed, so he rolled Dean onto his back. “Gotta see you, Dean.” he whispered as he stroked his cock with lube.

Dean spread his legs, offering himself to Sam. “Yeah, Sammy… gotta see you, too.”

Sam positioned himself between Dean’s legs. Before he pressed himself inside, he reached down, taking his brother’s hard cock in his hand, starting with a slow stroking motion, riling Dean up; making him desperate with want.

Dean watched Sam. He was big, muscular… beautiful. And he was his. 

“God… Please, Sammy…” Dean moaned as precome oozed out onto the head of his cock. 

Sam nodded rapidly and started a long, slow slide into the tight wetness of this brother. He stroked Dean and when he finally hit bottom, he leaned forward and kissed Dean, sliding his tongue over his brother’s lips and devouring his desire. 

Dean rolled his hips, silently begging Sam to move. Sam began thrusting into his brother, each time a little deeper, a little harder. Dean moaned louder and louder as Sam began pounding into him. Sam was kissing Dean’s lips, his eyes, his face, his neck, sometimes biting and sucking. Dean’s grunts and moans echoed through the room.

Sam slowed his pace. He was so close to coming but he didn’t want this to end. Sam pressed himself down onto Dean, sealing their bodies together as he began to slowly roll his hips, undulating in a way that he knew would drive Dean crazy as the head of his cock hit Dean’s prostate, sliding over it again and again.

Dean clutched Sam’s shoulders and felt Sam’s love… Sam was kissing him slowly… lovingly as he drove his cock into Dean over and over. Dean realized Sam was making love to him now… that this was for them. “Sammy…” Dean whispered as he looked up at his brother’s face.

Sam opened his eyes and looked into Dean’s. “Yeah….?” His voice was soft as he continued to grind into Dean. 

“I feel it… what you’re doing…” Dean moaned. “I can feel you…”

Sam kissed his way to Dean’s ear where he whispered, “So you know… I’m… I’m making love to you right now…” Sam was afraid to look at Dean, in case that wasn’t what he’d meant.

Dean wrapped his arms around Sam, holding him more tightly to him. “Yeah, Sammy… I love it… I love it…” 

That was all Sam needed to hear. He brought his face back to Dean’s and slotted their lips together in a passionate kiss as he picked up the pace. Dean had received his message… and now Sam wanted to feel Dean come… from the inside.

Sam lifted himself up a bit and wrapped his fingers around Dean’s cock again, speeding up his stroking to match the thrust of his hips. Dean responded with high pitched moans until he was shouting out Sam’s name over and over as his cock pulsed, shooting his come all over their chests. 

Sam kissed Dean as he rode the waves of his orgasm. Sam could feel Dean clenching around his cock as his orgasm rolled through him. With several more deep thrusts, Sam groaned loudly, breaking their kiss, as he came deep inside his brother.

Dean’s nails raked over Sam’s back, seeking purchase, trying to pull him deep. “Sammy…” 

Sam pushed up as far as he could go, filling Dean with every possible millimeter of his cock. Dean wrapped his legs around Sam, holding him tight as Sam panted through the aftershocks. As Sam regained some brain function, he kissed Dean slowly, loving his mouth with his lips… putting all of his emotions into the kiss. 

Dean felt his brother’s love and sighed softly, wrapping his brother up in his arms and rolling him onto his side. Dean cupped Sam’s face with his hand and just looked into his brother’s eyes. Sam’s eyes were open and his pupils were blown wide with desire. 

Being with Dean like that had been the single best experience of his life, save one. Sam loved having Dean inside him just a little bit more because it felt incredible to let him in like that… to make himself vulnerable that way with someone he loved as much as he loved Dean.

Sam looked into Dean’s eyes, searching… and he liked what he found there… love, acceptance, desire… peace. Sam kissed Dean softly, lips lingering. “I love you.” Sam breathed into his brother’s mouth.

Dean buried his face in Sam’s neck, wishing he could stay like this, with him, forever. “I love you, Sammy…”

The boys fell asleep in each other’s arms, peaceful and safe. For the moment.


	8. Red Sky at Morning (Postlude)

“Hey listen, I’ve been doing some thinking and I understand why you did it. I understand why you went after the crossroads demon.” Dean had been upset with Sam initially, more worried that something might happen to Sam in the process than the actual act.

Sam cleared his throat and sighed as he looked at the map. He knew he’d had to try

“If the situation were reversed, I guess I’d have done the same thing.” Dean looked at Sam, who was still studying the map. 

“I mean, I’m not blind.” Dean continued. “I see what you’re going through with this whole deal… me going away and all that.” Dean paused and then looked at Sam. “But you’re gonna be ok.

Sam huffed out a breath and then sighed. “You think so.” Sam really loved the way Dean referred to his eternity in hell as _going away and all that_. Sam wanted to reach over and shake Dean; he was that frustrated with him.

“Yeah… you’ll keep huntin’, you know… live your life. You’re stronger than me.” Dean said, trying to convince himself that was true. What kept flashing through his mind though was Sam, dead in his arms, and the knowledge that soon Sam would be holding his lifeless body in his. It was too much – way too much – for Dean to process, so he just kept trying to persuade himself into believing that Sam would be able to deal with that better than he had.

Sam scoffed audibly. He was really starting to get angry with Dean. He wasn’t stronger than Dean. If anything, he was weaker. Much weaker… after all, he’d been the one who couldn’t hold his feelings back any longer and had forced the issue with Dean. He didn’t have the self-control Dean had – not really. It might look like he did on the surface, but Sam knew in the right circumstances, he was an act first ask questions later kind of guy, too.

“You are!” Dean insisted. “Don’t worry, you’ll get over it. I want you to know, though… I’m sorry. I’m sorry for puttin’ you through all this. I am.” Dean wasn’t so sorry, though, that if he had it to do over, he’d make another decision. Nope. If the fates asked him to choose again, he’d make the same damn deal.

An exasperated Sam put down the map. “You know what Dean? Go screw yourself.” Sam was sick of Dean’s attitude about everything. He couldn’t tell Sam what to do when it came to making deals with crossroads demons. Dean had no wiggle room on that one. And further… Dean’s certainty that Sam could just move on, would just be ok… he had to know that was a big pile of bullshit. He had to!

“What?” Dean asked, genuinely perplexed. He wanted Sam to know it would be ok and that he’d get through it when Dean was gone. Dean was just trying to tell Sam that everything was going to be ok.

“I don’t want an apology from you. And, by the way, I’m a big boy now. I can take care of myself.” Sam didn’t want an apology. He wanted Dean. Forever. And he didn’t want to take care of himself. He’d always loved the way Dean took care of him. But to have that, he needed Dean by his side.

“Oh, well, excuse me.” Dean snarked, not understanding what Sam wanted from him. He was trying to make things ok. What more could he do?

“So would you please quit worrying about me? I mean, that’s the whole problem in the first place. I don’t want you to worry about me, Dean. I want you to worry about you!” Sam said forcefully as he looked at his brother. “I want you to give a crap that you’re dying!”

Sam didn’t understand that Dean couldn’t care about the fact that he was dying. If he started caring about that, he might do drastic things. He might make a terrible decision that hurt them even worse… maybe even cost Sam his life. And Dean couldn’t have that. He needed to believe that, once he was gone, Sam would be ok and alive and somehow making it through.

Dean smirked as he drove. It was his defense mechanism. Smirk or cry right now. Those were his choices.

Sam looked at Dean and noted the smirk. It angered him. “So… that’s it? Nothing else to say from you?” Sam was really angry now. Dean had no right to smirk at this conversation. This had be serious and Dean should have tried to understand Sam’s perspective.

Dean didn’t look at Sam, because if he did? Well, he’d break down. He’d cry like a baby just thinking about losing what he had with Sam. So, instead, he just kept driving toward Atlantic City. Eventually he said, “I think maybe I’ll play craps.”

Sam looked at Dean in disbelief and then huffed out a breath. He wasn’t going to talk to Dean about this anymore. Dean welcomed the silence as it let him get his emotions back under control.

Hours later, Dean pulled the Impala into the registration area of Bally’s. He’d asked Sam if he’d rather go to Trump’s Taj Mahal, but he’d just grunted. So, Dean decided they’d go to Bally’s instead. He thought Donald Trump was basically a douche bag with some kind of dead fox pelt stapled to his head, so it made the choice easy.

Sam wasn’t happy about blowing the $10,000 Bela had given them in casinos, but they’d never been to Atlantic City before; usually the only time they gambled was their now yearly trip to Vegas. Sam tried really hard not to think about the fact that their relatively new annual tradition was going to be very short-lived.

Dean handed the car keys to the valet, along with a detailed description of what would happen to said valet if Baby had a scratch on her when Dean picked up the car. Slapping a $20 in the valet’s hand, Dean led the way into the hotel. Sam followed along behind, still feeling emotional about the talk he and Dean had had in the car earlier.

Dean approached the front desk. A perky young woman in her early 20s with long dark hair and big blue eyes smiled flirtatiously at Dean. “Good morning, sir. Welcome to Bally’s! Do you have a reservation with us?” 

Sam sighed audibly. She was exactly the kind of girl Dean liked and Sam thought, on top of everything else, he’d now have to witness Dean turn on the charm and flirt outrageously with her until he got her number. Just the thought of it made Sam’s stomach churn.

When Dean reached over and took Sam’s hand in his, pulling him closer, Sam was surprised. He was even more surprised when Dean leaned up against him and said, “We do not have a reservation, but we would like one. Single king will work out just fine. 2 nights.”

Jasmine the receptionist batted her eyes twice and then dialed back the wattage on her smile. “Certainly, sir. I’ll just need to see a credit card and your ID.”

Dean took care of getting them registered, never once letting go of Sam’s hand. The bellhop brought over a cart and placed their bags on it and then led them to their room on the 15th floor. Dean tipped the bellhop and as the bellhop exited, Dean pulled Sam into a hug.

“Can we not fight, please, Sammy?” Dean whispered. “I just want to take a couple of days and be with you, ok?”

Sam nodded and held Dean tighter. “Yeah… ok, Dean. I don’t wanna fight either.”

Dean pulled away from Sam, grabbing his hand in the process, and then led his brother to their bed. Dean threw back the bedspread and pulled Sam in with him. Sam lay on his back, facing the ceiling and Dean was stretched out next to him, lying on his side and propping his head up with his hand.

Dean reached his hand up and used his finger to trace the elements of Sam’s face: his eyebrows, his eyelids, his nose, his cheeks, his jaw… and then finally his lips. Dean’s fingertip left a trail of tingling nerves in its wake. Each stroke of his finger touched Sam in ways he could have never imagined, centering on his heart. And his cock, because he always responded to Dean’s touch that way… but mostly his heart.

“Do you know how much I love your face?” Dean asked Sam quietly as he continued to explore it with the tips of his fingers. Sam opened his eyes and looked up into his brother’s eyes. “The first time I saw you, I thought you were just for me. Whenever someone else tried to hold you, I would say ‘My Sammy’.” Dean paused and kissed Sam softly. “Every time I look at you even now, I always think ‘My Sammy.’”

Sam blinked back tears. “Dean…”

Dean leaned forward and began kissing Sam with intent. He threaded his fingers through Sam’s hair and sealed their mouths together. Dean took his time exploring and loving Sam with his lips and tongue. Sam moaned as Dean ran his tongue across his lower lip. “You’re always gonna be My Sammy. No matter where I am.” Dean whispered before deepening the kiss.

Sam’s tears slid down his face as Dean began removing his clothes. Dean kissed them away, whispering words of love and reverence as he went. When Sam lay before Dean naked, Dean looked down at him and smiled softly. “You’re beautiful, Sammy.”

Sam couldn’t speak. Dean had just poured more love onto him than he had ever felt before. It was like Dean opened his heart and gave him a peek inside. And what Sam saw was nothing but himself in there. And then he understood just how hard it must be for Dean to know he would have to leave him alone, day in, day out… every time he looked at Sam… always thinking to himself that he wasn’t going to be around to take care of the one person who meant everything to him.

Sam looked into Dean’s eyes, trying to show him that he understood. And Dean saw – he could see that Sam knew just how devastated he was – not for making the deal but what the deal would mean to Sam and how it would leave him alone forever.

Dean’s expression changed to one of sorrow and anguish as he began removing his own clothes. Sam still said nothing; he knew that Dean had more to say. When Dean was naked, too, he turned back to Sam fit himself into Sam’s waiting arms.

“I need you inside me, Sammy.” Dean whispered. “I need you to anchor me.” _Remember me._ Dean paused and then continued. “I need you to make me forget – just for now, ok?”

Sam rolled on top of Dean and looked down at his brother. “Anything, Dean… I would do anything for you. Always.” Sam lowered his head, letting his breath slide over Dean’s lips. “You know I’m gonna kiss you now, right?”

“Yeah…” Dean breathed out as he waited.

Sam sealed their lips together and kissed Dean breathless. He took his time, making love to Dean slowly and thoroughly, anchoring him as he’d asked Sam to do. Dean forgot his deal, his expiration date and lost himself in Sam’s love. Sam used his lips, his tongue, his fingers and his hands to memorize the perfection that was Dean for him. 

As they came together, Sam kissed away Dean’s tears and promised him that they’d be ok, even though Sam knew, deep down, that he’d never be ok again after Dean was gone. But Dean needed to believe he would be and Sam knew he had to give that comfort to Dean.

Later that afternoon, Dean grabbed Sam’s hand as the left the room and they walked to the elevator together. Dean pushed the button for the lobby and as the doors closed behind them, he pulled Sam into a kiss. Sam let Dean set the pace of the kiss and he followed. He adored how open Dean was being with him right now. He knew that the day to day bullshit of hunting would get in the way and things wouldn’t always be like this… but for right now, it was bliss.

When the elevator stopped on the main floor, Dean broke the kiss and took Sam’s hand back in his and led him through the lobby and out into the afternoon sunlight. Instead of getting the car, Dean had the concierge get them a cab. As they slid across the bench seat in the back of the taxi, Dean handed the driver an address.

Sam trusted Dean and this was his surprise, so he asked no questions; he just held Dean’s hand in his and looked out at all the people milling about as they got closer to the boardwalk. Minutes later, the taxi dropped them off in front of a tattoo parlor.

Sam looked at Dean. “Are we doing what I think we’re doing?”

Dean took Sam’s hand in his and looked up at his brother. “Yeah… so here’s what I was thinking… I’ve got a design in mind, and I think you’ll like it. But, Sammy… I don’t want to get just matching tattoos. I’ve been thinking a lot about this and…” Dean swallowed audibly as he fought back his emotions. Dean blinked a couple of times and then let his eyes refocus on Sam’s. “I want these tattoos to be a symbol. Of us. I want them to be the same size, in the same place on each of us. Every time we see it, I want us to remember what it stands for…”

Sam leaned down and kissed Dean softly. “What does it stand for, Dean?” Sam asked quietly.

Dean tucked his head between Sam’s neck and shoulder. “Our love, Sammy… Us. Together always.”

Sam wrapped his arms around Dean as he smiled. “I want that, too.” Sam whispered. “Can we get them over our hearts?”

Dean pulled back and looked at Sam. He could see this meant as much to him as it did to Dean. “Yeah, Sammy – that’s exactly what I was thinking.”

Sam leaned down and gave Dean a lingering kiss. “Let’s do it.”

Dean led Sam into the tattoo parlor and struck up a conversation with the artist. He showed the tattoo artist the charm and his interpretation of it. From that, they had her draw up a template. When Sam and Dean were satisfied with the design, the paid her and held each other’s hands as they got matching tattoos right above their hearts.

Dean and Sam had made a commitment to one another and now had a symbol of it etched permanently over their hearts. Forever.


	9. Fresh Blood

Dean felt Sam begin thrashing next to him in their bed. Dean rolled over and turned on the light, hoping that would bring Sam out of his nightmare. It didn’t work, and Sam continued to thrash, his arms flailing and legs kicking.

“Dean… bring me with you.” Sam gasped, eyes scrunched shut, tears rolling down his cheeks. “Dean!” Sam shouted out into the night.

Dean, now able to dodge the flailing arms, shook Sam. “Sammy, wake up… wake up!”

Sam sat up in a panic, his eyes blinking against the brightness of the light in the room. “Dean…” he moaned as he struggled to catch his breath. Sam’s cheeks were tear-stained and his hair was matted with sweat.

Dean had sat up along with his brother, so he pulled Sam to him. “I’m here, Sammy. It’s ok.” Based on what Sam had shouted, Dean was afraid that Sam had been dreaming about him going to hell.

Sam turned and buried his face in Dean’s neck, tears still rolling off his cheeks. He hitched a breath and moaned as memories of his dream flooded through his brain.

Dean stroked his hand down Sam’s hair, trying to calm him. “Tell me…” he whispered when Sam hadn’t said anything for several minutes.

Sam flung himself backwards, pulling Dean with him. “Don’t… don’t look at me as I tell you, ok?” Sam begged.

Dean closed his eyes and curled into Sam, holding him close. “Sure, Sammy.”

Sam let out a long sigh and a deep breath before telling Dean his dream. “Gordon came after you instead of me… He wanted to hurt me by taking you away from me. I was trying to bring him to me, taunting him, calling out… but he was only focused on you and how much it would hurt me if he did something to you.” 

Sam paused, his breath hitching as the terror continued to course though him. “He got you.” Sam moaned. “Oh god…”

“It’s ok, Sammy… it didn’t happen… I’m here.” Dean whispered as he reached for Sam’s hand, holding it tight. Sam’s hand was shaking and Dean pulled it to his chest to calm him.

“He turned you, Dean.” Sam whispered. “And then he made you feed in front of me… some girl he’d captured along the way and had trussed up in the warehouse where we were at the time.

Dean said nothing, just looked at his brother, waiting for the rest. He knew what came next wasn’t going to be good.

“You looked at me and snarled… you told me to get away from you because you were afraid of hurting me.” Sam sniffled as he tried to keep himself under control. “But I wouldn’t listen… because… because…”

Sam shuddered and Dean held onto him, trying to help him process his dream, but not knowing what to say. When Sam finally got himself back under control, he continued. “I wouldn’t listen because I thought… you being a monster was a way out… of your deal.”

Dean sighed. Poor Sammy… he was always looking for a way out where none existed.

“I begged you, Dean…” Sam let his sentence trail off.

Dean waited, knowing that this wasn’t going to get better – but he couldn’t imagine what Sam would say next. Nothing else was offered, so he prompted Sam, “What did you beg me for?”

Sam shuddered. “I begged for you to turn me… and bring me with you… because you were leaving me behind, alone… alone, Dean…” Sam’s tears began anew. “And I just wanted us to be together forever!” Sam’s words dissolved into tears; they coursed down his cheeks as he grieved for his brother as his brother looked on.

Dean closed his eyes, his heart breaking for his little brother, who he most definitely would be leaving behind in the not too distant future. Dean knew he was going to have to talk to Bobby – to make sure that Sam had someone, otherwise he was afraid Sam might try to follow him and Dean didn’t want that. He couldn’t have that. He wanted Sam to live. And to be happy… as happy as he could, anyway.

Dean snuggled Sam closer to him. “Shhh… Sammy. I’m still here.” Dean thought about how they had spent the afternoon. He probably shouldn’t have started teaching Sam how to fix the Impala after the emotional run-in with Gordon. He should have waited until Sam was… Dean sighed. He didn’t have time to wait anymore. His time was quickly running out and there were things he still needed to teach his little brother.

Sam’s tears had stopped flowing, but it didn’t mean his profound sadness had left. Dean kissed Sam, his lips caressing his brother’s, imparting love and affection and all of the emotions Dean had trouble verbalizing sometimes. Sam kissed him back, trying to suppress his desperation.

They lay there, together, entwined and enveloped in one another’s arms, slowly drifting off into a restless slumber after Dean turned out the light.


	10. A Very Supernatural Christmas

Sam and Dean settled in to watch the game. A few minutes and another glass of egg nog went by before Sam said, “You’re not really gonna sit over there all night, are you?”

Dean smiled at his brother, his eyes full of love. “Nah, Sammy. Not all night.” Dean teased. Dean got up and slid in next to his brother, laying his head on Sam’s shoulder. They watched the game together, holding hands and giving gentle touches, sharing a sweet and innocent connection.

As the game ended, Dean let out a small sigh. “Thanks, Sammy.” Dean whispered. “For the gifts, for the decorations… for the extra spiked egg nog… this is perfect.” Dean wrapped his arms around Sam, hugging him close. Sam had given him everything he’d wanted: one last perfect Christmas for just the two of them.

Sam pulled Dean closer, kissing the top of his head. “It’s not perfect yet, Dean.” Sam tilted Dean’s face up and looked into his eyes. Slowly, he leaned down and kissed his brother softly, so sweetly, cupping his face with his hand, trying to show him how precious he was to him.

Dean chuckled into Sam’s mouth. “You looking for a make out session, Sammy?”

Sam smiled down at Dean, caressing his cheek with his thumb, stroking Dean’s cheek gently, with love. Sam dropped the pitch of his voice, making it low and sultry. “Lookin’ for a lot more than that, Dean… I want you inside me.”

Dean turned his head and grabbed Sam’s thumb with his lips. He sucked it into his mouth and swirled his tongue over it, teasing it, caressing it while he looked into Sam’s eyes. Sam sucked in a breath as a slow burn started low in his belly. Dean smiled around Sam’s thumb as he watched Sam react to his touch. Dean reached up and slowly pulled Sam’s thumb from his mouth. 

“Is that all you want, Sammy?” Dean’s look was full of heat and want and love.

Sam stood and extended his hand to Dean, pulling him to his feet. “No.” Sam said before kissing Dean softly. “I want you. Always.”

Sam frame Dean’s face with his hands and kissed him. It was slow, sensual, thorough… and deep. Sam kissed Dean like he had the very first time, putting all of his emotions – longing, love, desire, need – into each press of his lips and stroke of his tongue. Because they were connected at the deepest level, Dean knew exactly what Sam was doing and it made him weak in the knees.

Dean felt overwhelmed by Sam’s love. But even as the love washed over him, it couldn’t keep his sadness at bay. He wasn’t able to stop his tears from falling. He hated that this was his last Christmas with Sam. He hated that soon it would be the last time he and Sam could be together this way. 

Sam kissed away Dean’s tears even as his own overflowed and ran down his cheeks.

Their kiss turned desperate. They kept trying to pull each other closer, but there wasn’t any space left between them. “Sammy…” Dean moaned, equal parts desire and pain.

Sam kissed Dean’s lips, his cheeks, his eyes, his neck… “Dean…” he whispered. “I love you…”

Dean shivered. For so many years, he craved love, a gentle touch, someone to hold him when he was scared. It figured that when he finally found what he needed most of all, he could only have it for a short while. Dean broke their kiss and held Sam with all his might. “Love you, Sammy… so much.” 

Dean kissed Sam hard, trying to tell him everything without words. 

Sam broke the kiss and pulled Dean toward the bed. They stripped each other frantically in an effort to feel the skin that they continually ached to touch. Dean was desperate to be inside Sam and Sam was equally as desperate to have Dean there. 

As Dean prepped Sam, he laid his head on Sam’s hip. He wanted to go fast, but he also wanted to remember every sensation as his fingers slipped inside his brother, over and over. 

“So soft, Sammy…” Dean moaned as he stroked his fingers deeper and deeper. Dean loved feeling Sam like this. He loved knowing that part of him could be inside the one person he loved more than life itself. Sam stroked Dean’s hair and face as he let Dean open him up.

When Dean was satisfied with the prep, he rolled on top of Sam and slid himself home in one smooth stroke. Dean looked down into Sam’s eyes and saw nothing but love and need. Dean leaned down and placed gentle kisses across Sam’s forehead, his eyes, his cheeks and then finally his mouth. Sam moaned as Dean’s tongue teased his lips. 

Dean broke the kiss as he began thrusting into Sam. His head was next to his brother’s, his lips against his ear. “This, with you…” Dean panted, “It’s the best thing I’ve ever had in my life, Sammy.”

Sam held Dean tighter and groaned as Dean went deeper, his cock sliding over his prostate over and over.

“You have always been the best thing in my life…” Dean continued between moans and gasps as he and Sam moved together. “Remember, ok… always remember that.”

Sam pulled Dean’s face to his and kissed him wildly, unable to show Dean any other way just how desperate he was to have him with him forever.

_The desperation rolls out of your motel room in waves._

Sam wasn’t going to think about Ruby’s words. But he knew what she’d said was true. Sam shut those thoughts out of his mind and focused on how Dean made him feel. He loved being possessed by him like this. It made him feel loved and needed and cherished. This was all he ever wanted.

Later, when Dean slowly lowered himself next to Sam as they recovered from their orgasms, Sam pulled Dean to him and held him tightly to him. Sam’s voice was quiet but sure when he broke the silence. “You’ve always been the best thing in my life, too, Dean.” 

Dean smiled at Sam, keeping his sadness at bay. “Merry Christmas, little brother.”

Sam kissed Dean softly. “Merry Christmas, Dean.”


	11. Malleus Malificarum

“I remember what it’s like.” Ruby answered. “Being human.”

Dean looked down. He had one other question for Ruby, but when he looked up, she was gone and he was alone in the parking lot with his thoughts. Dean went over and leaned against the Impala. He shut his eyes against the pain of having his fear confirmed: Ruby couldn’t help him. He’d known it instinctively, but there had been a glimmer of hope. And Dean had wanted to believe it. 

He didn’t want to leave Sam.

Dean pinched the bridge of his nose, trying in vain to keep from crying. He’d wanted so much to stay with Sam. It was so hard to pretend he didn’t care about what was going to happen to him, when deep down, he was dying inside a little bit every day.

Every time he held Sam in his arms, he cherished the moment, all the while stuffing down his panic, his fear and his desperation. Being with Sam was all he wanted… but eventually, it would end. And that eventuality would arrive much sooner than he was ready for.

Dean pushed himself off the Impala and walked to the end of the parking lot, looking out at the fields around the motel, noting the scent of pine in the air, the crispness of the wind against his face. The stars shone bright in the sky and Dean watched the cirrus clouds, way high up in the atmosphere, passing overhead, obscuring individual stars and then revealing them once again.

A celestial game of hide-n-seek.

He puffed out a breath of air, watching his breath dissipate in the coolness of the night. He figured he was a lot like the stars above… his light would be snuffed out and then later revealed… when he was a demon and beyond redemption and his own humanity. 

Dean rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands. He wondered how long it would take before he became what he’d been taught to hate. 

He wondered if he would remember anything about his human life. 

He wondered if he came top side… if he ran into Sam… would they both remember what they’d had together? Would they pause before their battle, acknowledging their love? Or, would one of them kill the other, without a second thought?

Dean ran his hand over his face. He didn’t want to think about this anymore. 

What he wanted – no, what he needed, was to be in his brother’s arms. With one last look up into the night sky, Dean turned and walked back to the motel room he and Sam were sharing. At the door, he emptied his mind of everything except thoughts of Sam, and then he opened the door and went to be with the one person he loved more than anyone else in his life.

Sam.


	12. Dream a Little Dream of Me

“We’ll find a way to save you, Dean.” Sam assured his brother from the passenger seat.

Dean smiled uneasily at Sam, unable to get the demon version of himself out of his head. _“You’re gonna die! And this is what you’re gonna become!”_ Over and over his demon-self taunted him in his head.

Sam furrowed his brow, trying to read the emotions on Dean’s face. He thought about how Dean had seemed worried that he might have seen something in their shared dream. He wondered what Dean was keeping from him. While Sam was glad Dean had finally admitted he didn’t want to go to hell, it was pretty clear that something in the dream had thrown Dean off his game.

Sam reached over and took Dean’s hand in his. “You ok, Dean?”

Dean squeezed Sam’s hand, trying to put on a smile that would look convincing. “Sure, little brother, I’m fine. Just wanna find a way outta this deal.”

Sam gently tugged Dean’s hand, until he finally slid across the bench seat and into Sam’s arms. Sam held Dean close and didn’t say anything for a while, relishing the feeling of Dean’s body pressed up against his.

Sam had so many things he wanted to say to Dean. But the closer they got to the end of the road, the harder it was to put his feelings into words. Unable to figure out what he wanted to say, Sam finally kissed Dean at the corner of his mouth; a soft, gentle kiss that made Dean feel nearly invincible… like he was the biggest, baddest dude around because someone like Sam loved him that much. 

“I don’t believe you, Dean.” Sam whispered. “I know you’re not fine. But I’ll take that answer for right now. When we get to the room tonight though… I really want to talk about this with you.” Sam kissed Dean again and then said, “This is fair warning for you to get used to the idea.”

“Ok, Sammy…” Dean sighed. He knew he should move behind the wheel of the car and take them to their next destination, but he just didn’t want to be that far away from Sam. He needed his brother so much and on so many levels.

Sam could tell Dean needed him close so he slowly pulled away, with a smile of understanding. “How ‘bout you drive and I lay my head in your lap? I’d like to be close to you, Dean.”

Dean smiled at his brother’s ability to understand what he needed without him having to say a thing. Dean hoped they’d always have that connection… until he remembered that always wasn’t going to be that long. He chose to ignore that fact for the moment and scooted over to his seat instead. “That’d be great, Sammy… nothing I’d love more.”

Dean waited for Sam to get comfortable. He loved driving like this… an open road, Sam’s head on his thigh, maybe holding his brother’s hand or just playing with his much-too-shaggy hair. It was Dean’s favorite way to cruise down the road.

Dean smiled as he thought about Sam’s hair. He liked to tease him about getting it cut, but secretly Dean would be devastated if he ever did. He loved the length… he loved to run his fingers through it, grab it when they were kissing… Dean would definitely miss it if Sam ever changed it to a shorter version.

“Don’t cut your hair.” Dean blurted before he could stop himself.

“What?” Sam asked, confused by the sudden burst of non-sequitur.

Dean blushed as Sam rolled his head to look up at him. “Um… I just mean… I know I tease you about it… but don’t ever cut it.”

Sam pulled Dean’s hand to his lips and kissed it. “Dean… c’mon man… you play with it all the time. You grab it when we’re kissing… you think I don’t know you secretly love it?” Sam smiled against the back of Dean’s hand. “I would never cut it for just those reasons.”

Dean moved his hand to Sam’s hair and stroked it softly as he smiled. Sam readjusted himself until he was comfortable.

Once Sam was situated, Dean reached over and turned up the music. HIS music. He then guided the Impala onto the blacktop and let a feeling of satisfaction wash over him. He was driving HIS car, listening to HIS music, with HIS brother’s head in his lap… making his own choices; looking after Sam because he loved him and he wanted to – not because he was told to or forced to like his demon-self had insisted.

“Fuck you, Demon Dean.” Dean thought as Sam threaded his fingers through his. He was his own man living his own life the way he chose to. End of story.

Dean looked in the rearview mirror. He sucked in a gulp of air when he saw black eyes looking back at him. _“You’re gonna die! And this is what you’re gonna become!”_

Dean closed his eyes tight – for just a moment – and then looked back in the rearview mirror. Only wide green eyes full of fear met his gaze. Dean reached up and adjusted the mirror so he wouldn’t accidentally see himself. Dean stared straight at the road ahead, determined to forget everything about his dream.

He’d find that much easier to vow that to himself than actually do it.


	13. Mystery Spot

Sam and Dean left the Mystery Spot behind them. For Sam, the whole experience had been traumatic.

Sam tried so hard to forget what it was like to be without Dean, but he couldn’t. And the worst part was that now he knew what he could expect in a few short months: an existence without the only person who gave him any purpose at all. 

From the first Wednesday after all of those Tuesdays, when Dean had died and there was no redo on the day, Sam had been single-minded, fueled by desperation. Every moment of every day had been focused on finding the Trickster and getting Dean back.

Sam was so destroyed by Dean’s death in the parking lot of the motel, he’d nearly been out of his mind. And there were those who would argue he, indeed, had been. 

Sleepless nights, frantic searching, sometimes forgetting to eat… but whenever he remembered, he was unable to stop himself from getting dinner for Dean. He’d set the plate across from him and have imaginary conversations with Dean in his head as the plate remained full in front of the seat where Dean should be. 

Sam would choke down sustenance for the sole purpose of having enough energy to continue searching for a way to get Dean back.

Sam couldn’t stop remembering his existence without Dean. And all he wanted to do was forget.

Sam looked out the passenger window as Dean guided the car toward their next destination. He knew now that when Dean’s deal came due… he was going to lose his mind. He wondered how long he’d be able to keep up the search before eventually losing his sanity for real. Maybe a few months? Certainly not much longer than that.

After a hundred miles or so, Sam turned down the volume of the music. Dean looked at him quizzically, waiting for what Sam was going to say.

Sam didn’t look at Dean; his attention was on his hands. Hands he used to kill and hands he used to love. Right now, all he wanted to do was use them to love Dean.

“Can we find a motel soon?” Sam asked softly.

A look of surprise crossed Dean’s face. It was clear that Sam had been very affected by their time Boward County. “Sure, Sammy. Next one we see… I’ll pull in and get us a room.”

Sam nodded. “Can you get us just one bed?”

Dean wanted to give Sam whatever he needed right now. “Sure, Sammy. Whatever you want.”

Sam nodded and looked back out the passenger window.

Fifteen minutes later, Dean found a motel and pulled in, putting the Impala in Park, but leaving the engine running. “Be right back, Sammy.” 

A couple of minutes later, Dean came back to the car and pulled around to the back of the motel so he could park in front of their room. With practiced moves, the boys unloaded the car in silence with rapid efficiency.

Once in the room, Sam walked over the Dean and wrapped his arms around his brother. Dean held him tightly, trying to provide as much comfort as he could. It wasn’t long before Sam spoke, his voice low and quivering, indicating he was near tears. “Need you, Dean. Inside me… please.”

Dean kissed Sam’s neck, letting his lips linger. “’Course, Sammy – anything you want.”

Sam released Dean and went to his duffel, grabbing their lube. He brought it back to Dean and handed it to him. Dean was shocked when Sam quickly undressed and then leaned up against the wall, his arms raised and legs spread, offering himself to his brother.

Dean moved in behind Sam and slid his hands around his waist, hugging him from behind. He planted soft, wet kisses across Sam’s shoulders and the back of his neck. 

“Tell me what you want, Sam.” Dean whispered as he continued to pepper Sam’s neck and shoulders with gentle kisses, full of his love.

Sam turned his head, pressing his cheek against the wall. Sam’s voice was rough with emotion. “Prep me and then just take me right here, Dean.”

Dean leaned up and kissed Sam’s soft lips, savoring the way the simple gesture both touched his heart and turned him on. He’d rather have Sam on the bed but he knew that Sam needed him to possess him – to take him to a place where he could forget about the future and the Deanless existence that awaited him… he needed to be anchored to the here and now. 

Dean understood all too well.

“Ok, Sammy…” Dean ran his tongue across Sam’s shoulder and then he slowly traced his spine, leaving a slick trail showing where his tongue had been. When he was finally on his knees, Dean cupped Sam’s balls, massaging them. Sam moaned in response, spreading his legs wider. 

Dean uncapped the lube and spread it generously on his fingers. He gently bit Sam’s ass cheek as he spread his cheeks open. He swirled his fingers over Sam’s entrance, spreading the lube, teasing him. Sam moaned and pressed his hips back, encouraging Dean to penetrate him. He was making little needy noises that were driving Dean crazy.

Dean began prepping him, starting with one finger and then quickly moving to two. He and Sam did this quite a lot and it was easier now for both of them to bottom. Dean watched his fingers disappearing into his brother’s ass; wet, slick – hot. 

“Sammy…” Dean whispered reverently. “You’re so fucking hot…” Dean slid a third finger inside of his brother, causing him to moan loudly and buck his hips. 

“Yeah… fuck, there are times I can’t believe you let me do this to you.” Dean hadn’t really meant to say that out loud, but it was too late to take it back.

Sam turned his face, seeking Dean’s eyes. “Need you inside me, Dean…” Sam was panting and fucking himself on Dean’s fingers. Dean quickly stood, discarding jeans, his t-shirt, boxers in record time. He used his wet fingers to lube his cock and immediately slid himself deep into Sam. Dean held Sam’s hips as he drove his cock to the hilt.

Sam let his head fall back onto Dean’s shoulders. “Yeah… Dean… fuck, yeah…”

Dean began a rhythm that was deep and moderately paced. He had every intention of pounding the shit out of Sam, but he wanted to savor the sensation of his brother taking him in and relish the tight, hot wetness of his ass.

“Have a confession, Dean…” Sam gasped out as Dean pounded into him from behind.

“Wha..?” Dean gasped back. His hands were moving up and down Sam’s chest and stomach, trying to show Sam how much being with him like this meant to Dean.

“Our wrestling matches before I went to Stanford…” Sam moaned as Dean’s cock hit his prostate, the tip dragging over it with the perfect amount of pressure.

“Yeah?” Dean groaned right back as he drove himself home once again.

Sam pushed his hips back, showing Dean he wanted him deeper. Dean picked up the pace and started driving his cock into Sam.

Sam whimpered and begged for more. When he found his breath, he told Dean one of his biggest secrets. 

“After the… unggg… matches… mmmm… I would disappear… unggggggg… and go jack off. Yeah, Dean… oh god… I’d jack off because…. Oh god… being that close… mmmm… to you would make me so hard…” Sam moaned as Dean wrapped his hand around his cock, which was throbbing with need and leaking everywhere.

Sam gasped as Dean began stroking him. “Fuck… I used to dream of you taking me just like this…” Sam groaned as Dean picked up the pace. “I’d come so hard… fuck!”

As Dean timed his jacking off of Sam with his thrusts, he told Sam his own secret. 

“Yeah? Hot, Sammy… fuck… but you didn’t… yeah… god yeah… you didn’t disappear. Fuck…” Dean gasped and tried to hold out just a little longer. 

“I always knew where you were…” Dean moaned. “Fuccccckkkk….” Dean gasped, “Cuz I watched you… jacking off… and I jacked off…. Oh fuck… too…”

Dean couldn’t last any longer. Three hard, deep thrusts and he was coming deep inside his little brother. Sam, after processing what Dean had just divulged to him, came with a shout, coming all over Dean’s hand, his stomach, the wall… everywhere.

Dean felt Sam’s knees give, so he quickly picked Sam up in his arms and laid him on the bed, sliding right in beside him, kissing him, holding him, just loving him.

When Sam had recovered, he rolled on his side and held Dean’s gaze. “You knew? You knew that those wrestling sessions got me hard? And you watched me jack off?” Sam was incredulous.

Dean just smiled at Sam, bringing him close and kissing him deeply, thoroughly loving his mouth. “Why do you think I was always telling you we had to wrestle to keep your skills sharp?” he whispered. “Not the sharpest knife… but I’m no dummy…” Dean tucked his head in Sam’s neck. “Wanted you even then Sammy… around the time you turned 17 or so. You stopped being a kid to me.”

Sam snorted. “Oh man… you know if I’d known that you felt that way back then, I would never have gone to Stanford…”

Dean kissed Sam’s cheek softly. “I know that. That’s why I never said or did anything, Sammy. I couldn’t hold you back.” Dean paused for a moment. “I have to be honest though… as soon as I had a good excuse, I came to get you. I’m just sorry for everything that happened immediately after that, with Jessica, you missing out on law school… I regret that part a lot.”

Sam sighed. He regretted things, too. Especially about Jessica’s death. And then he remembered something. “Dean… I gotta ask you something.”

Dean took Sam’s hand in his and traced the veins on the back with his fingertip. “Sure, Sammy.”

“You remember talking to that detective, outside my apartment?” Sam asked.

“Yeah. Of course. I didn’t like that he was giving you the third degree.” Dean responded softly.

“You told him you came back because you noticed I’d left a bag in the back seat. But I didn’t… so why did you come back?” Sam needed to hear the answer.

Dean leaned up and kissed Sam gently, letting his lips linger before slowly retreating. “Don’t you know the answer to that by now, Sammy?” Dean whispered. “I came back because I couldn’t go on without you… I was going to beg you to leave with me… I had a whole speech prepared… I just couldn’t spend another day without you.”

Sam brought Dean’s face to his and kissed him. His kiss was firm and sensuous, sweet enough to make Dean’s heart flutter. Sam broke off the kiss and smiled at his brother. “I think I would have gone with you… I really do.”

Dean nodded and smiled. “I had no intention of accepting a no, Sammy. I can still remember how certain I was that you belonged with me.” Dean paused and thought about that time. “I still feel certain, Sammy. Knowing what I know now, I wish I’d never let you go off to Stanford. I wish I would have told you everything… then this thing between us wouldn’t be so new, and maybe it wouldn’t be so hard knowing that…” Dean let his sentence trail off, unable to finish.

Sam pulled Dean closer. “We can’t change the past, Dean. I’m just glad we have this – and each other – now.”

Dean kissed Sam’s shoulder. “Me, too, Sammy. Me, too.”


	14. Jus in Bello

Ruby left Sam and Dean in the motel room to think about what had happened to Henriksen and the others, including the virgin Nancy Fitzgerald, whom they’d fought so hard to save.

Dean rubbed his hand over his face, trying to keep his composure. Sam just stared at the wall and wondered if he should have taken Ruby up on her offer to work a spell, sacrificing Nancy to save everyone else… or, if accepting her plan would have chipped away at his humanity.

Both Dean and Sam were, in a word, devastated. Dean stood up, walked over to Sam, took his hand and led him to a bed. They both slid under the covers fully clothed; this wasn’t about a make out session. Neither was it about the passion they felt for one another.

Dean leaned back on the pillow, pulling Sam to him. Sam wrapped his arm around Dean and they just held one another, saying nothing. It would be a while before either of them could really talk about what had happened.

Dean reviewed the details of the battle over and over again in his head, looking for just one little thing he could have done differently that would have changed the outcome. He knew he would carry the guilt of not saving those people for the remaining time he had. For a moment, he was almost thankful that wouldn’t be too long at this point.

Sam looked inside himself and wondered if his urge to follow Ruby’s plan really would have saved lives or if she’d been lying and the result would have been the same – other than the fact he would have had the blood of a virgin on his hands more directly. 

Sam didn’t know what to think or even how to feel. He was so damn sorry that they hadn’t saved everyone as they thought they had; but there was a tiny part of him that was glad at least he and Dean had gotten away. They had so little time left together… he couldn’t bear the thought of losing a minute of it. He knew that was selfish… but they’d sacrificed so much already…

Sam sighed and snuggled closer to Dean. He closed his eyes and let the steady beat of Dean’s heart calm his thoughts and the scent of his brother comfort him.

The evening passed slowly. Once they had committed to silence, it was hard to break it; even when the moon had risen and night was slowly giving into the next day. Finally, it was Sam who broke the silence.

“I’m scared, Dean.” he whispered.

Dean pulled Sam closer, and then he kissed his forehead but said nothing.

“What if you don’t have the whole time promised you? And what if these demon attacks are meant to take me, too? Then you’ll be in hell and I would presumably be in heaven, with no way to get you back.” Sam shuddered. 

Dean rubbed his hand up and down Sam’s arm to comfort him. And himself, because he’d been thinking the same thing and it scared him, too.

“I don’t know what’s happening, Sammy.” Dean sighed. “I wish I did. All I really care about, though, is making sure you’re alive and fine. In that context, I don’t care what happens to me. I just need for you to be good – to have a life, to find some happiness. Hell – maybe you should go back to school, really have a life, leave the hunting to others. Nothing would make me happier than you out of the fray and living a safe life somewhere…”

Sam leaned up and kissed Dean. “And all I care about is finding a way to break your deal, or finding a way to get you back when your deal comes due. Anything else between now and then is a secondary concern.” 

Sam kissed Dean’s neck and shoulder, trying to show him all the love he held for Dean inside. “For the record… the only safe life I’ve ever had is because you’ve been looking out for me. And the safest I’ve ever been is right here, with you, in your arms. That will always be true, Dean.”

Dean smiled at Sam, but his smile didn’t reach his eyes. Sam could see the sadness there – whether it was due to the events that took everyone in the police station, Dean thinking about his deal or just the enormity of the road ahead, Sam didn’t know. 

Regardless of the cause, all Sam knew was that he wanted to give Dean as much happiness as he could before… well, just before.


	15. Ghostfacers

Dean stepped on the accelerator, putting Appleton behind them as quickly as he could. He was trying to stop his hands from shaking; he’d nearly lost Sam. If he had, Dean knew that he would have been making an early trip to hell. He had to put it behind him and focus; time was running out.

Dean did some quick calculations in his head. After a minute or two he looked over at Sam. “Hey… if I push it, we can be in Minneapolis in about 4 hours. Can you wait that long to get cleaned up?” Dean looked at the crusty streaks of blood on Sam’s face, wishing they’d stopped to at least tend to that.

Sam looked at Dean. “What’s in Minneapolis?”

Dean reached over and took Sam’s hand in his, sending him a smile. “Memories.” Dean paused and squeezed Sam’s hand. “Good memories.”

Sam smiled back at Dean, lifting his hand to his lips and kissing Dean’s palm, gently. “Yeah.” Sam said softly, “I can wait.”

Dean tugged Sam’s hand and Sam slid over next to him, still holding his brother’s hand and resting his head on Dean’s shoulder. Sam drifted off to sleep and Dean pushed the Impala, wanting to get to Minneapolis as quickly as possible.

They made great time, sticking to the back roads. Dean pulled into the Aqua City Motel and left the car running while he booked them a room. He got them two queens because it was nice to move to a fresh bed when they made the other one… sticky.

Once in the motel room, Dean pulled Sam into the bathroom. “Shower time, Sammy.” he said, slapping his brother on the ass. Sam laughed and began peeling off his dirty clothes. Dean followed suit and then turned on the shower, letting the water get nice and hot.

“We should go to a laundromat while we’re in town.” Sam said as he grabbed the shower gel and shampoo and conditioner and then stepped into the shower.

Dean slid in behind him, wrapping his arms around Sam, kissing his shoulder. “Not really what I’m thinking about right now, Sammy.”

Dean held out his hand for the shower gel. Sam gave it to him, along with a wash rag. Dean used a generous amount and began washing Sam’s skin, ensuring that every scrape and cut was cleansed, from Sam’s head down to his waist. Dean rinsed out the wash rag and covered it with more gel. He turned Sam so he was facing away from him and began cleaning his lower body. He started with his legs and feet and worked his way up.

Dean used the wash cloth to tease his brother, playing with his hole, using his fingers to tease him, causing Sam to moan Dean’s name.

He grabbed Sam’s ass with his free hand, squeezing the muscle and then giving Sam a slap on his cheek. “Sammy… I gotta say… you have an amazing ass.” Dean said, planting a kiss where he’d slapped his brother’s cheek. 

Sam looked over his should and down at Dean. “Yeah? You want that?” Sam swayed his hips back and forth, spreading his legs and taunting Dean. Dean openly appraised Sam’s body.

“Yeah. I want that.” Dean said quietly. “I want you, Sam.”

Sam turned, his hard cock brushing against Dean’s cheek. “See how much I want you, Dean?” Sam reached down to help Dean stand, bringing him into his arms and kissing him deeply. Dean wrapped his hand around Sam’s cock, stroking it firmly, relishing the feeling of Sam’s soft skin over his hardness… the wetness of his precome. 

Dean realized that he craved Sam’s cock; he loved to stroke it, to suck it… to fuck himself on it. Without thinking he broke their kiss and said, “I think I’m more gay than straight.”

Sam laughed and kissed Dean soundly. “You just now realizing this?”

Dean looked perplexed. “Yeah… I think I am.”

Sam pulled Dean back against him, kissing him deeply. “If you could see the look on your face when you’re sucking my dick into your mouth, you would have realized that a while ago.” Sam whispered, his voice low and full of heat.

Dean thrust his cock against Sam’s thigh. “I think I see that same look on your face when you’re sucking me off.” Dean replied as he nipped at Sam’s neck.

Sam threw his head back to give him better access. “Dean… I knew the very first time we kissed – and even before that – that you, including your cock, were all I ever needed.” Sam breathed out as Dean sucked a mark on his neck.

Dean moaned as he considered Sam’s revelation. “Dude… I full on turned you gay without even trying!”

Sam barked out a laugh and pushed Dean away from him. “You totally did.” 

Sam smiled as he grabbed Dean’s hand, dragging him to a bed and then pushing him down. Sam straddled Dean and looked down into his brother’s eyes. “You make me laugh… you make me cry… you take care of me… watch over me… you hold me… you kiss me… you’re… amazing, Dean.” 

Dean smiled at Sam, understanding what he was saying. He pulled Sam’s face down to his and kissed him softly. “Love you, too, Sammy.”

Sam reached over to the nightstand and grabbed their lube, handing it to Dean. “I wanna ride you,” he stated boldly. Dean’s eyes went wide. 

“We haven’t done that yet…” Dean looked very interested in the idea of Sammy fucking himself on his cock – being able to watch him. Suddenly, he was painfully hard. “Let me prep you.” Dean whispered, his eyes wide in awe.

Sam rolled off and onto his stomach, raising his hips and presenting Dean with his ass. “All yours, Dean.”

Dean ran his hand reverently over the curve of Sam’s ass. “I know…” Dean whispered. “And sometimes I still can’t believe it.”

Dean got to work, making sure Sam would be wet enough so he could enjoy it. After a couple of minutes Sam opened his eyes. “I’m ready, Dean.”

Dean rolled onto his back and watched Sam as he straddled him and then positioned himself. Sam began to lower himself, slowly, teasing his brother with his tight hole. They both moaned as the head of Dean’s cock fully entered Sam.

“Fuck yeah… Dean…” Sam moaned. “I’m gonna ride you so fucking hard…”

Dean gasped and put his hands on Sam’s hips, steadying him. Without warning, Sam slammed himself down on his brother’s cock with a visceral moan. “Yeah… oh god…”

Dean groaned, “God, Sammy…” 

Dean let his eyes travel over his brother: his face, his chest, his cock bobbing up at down as he road Dean’s cock. Sam’s thigh muscles were taut and he had a look of ecstasy on his face.

Sam leaned forward as he rode Dean’s cock, rubbing his own cock on Dean’s stomach, pressing down as he leaned in to kiss Dean. Dean was overwhelmed by his brother’s kisses – his tongue swirling, caressing with little moans and hitches in his breathing, telling Dean that Sam was so turned on by being with him this way. 

Sam’s hands were everywhere, cupping Dean’s face, teasing his nipples, grabbing on as Sam found the right angle and repeatedly hit his prostate with Dean’s cock. Sam moved faster, going deeper, slamming himself down onto Dean as Dean rose to meet his thrusts. 

The friction of Sam’s own cock between their bodies drove him into a frenzy. “Not gonna last long, Dean…” Sam gasped between kisses.

Dean threw his head back with a groan. “Me either, Sammy… soon… gonna come soon.”

Sam concentrated on the friction against his cock and getting deep penetration for his brother. Dean watched every move. The sight of his brother riding him with abandon was the sexiest thing he’d ever seen. Sam suddenly sat up, getting Dean deeper inside him. Sam leaned back and reached around to play with Dean’s balls as he continued the pace.

Sam felt Dean’s sack tighten and he knew it would be mere moments before he’d feel the hot pulsing sensation of his brother filling him up with his come. Sam rode a little faster, a little harder and palmed his cock pulling hard and fast. He came before Dean and his come covered his fist, dripping onto Dean’s stomach.

Sam was so tight around Dean’s cock, he couldn’t hold off anymore. Dean reached up and pulled Sam down, kissing him as he thrust up into his brother’s ass, pumping into him as he came with Sam’s name on his lips.

Sam collapsed onto Dean with a grunt. Dean ran his hands up and down Sam’s back, holding him, loving him with his gentle touches and murmurs of devotion.

Dean had every intention of taking Sam out for the evening, but they ended up ordering pizza, watching old movies while cuddling and making love again before they finally slept. Dean thought that even if he had a hundred years with Sam, it still wouldn’t be enough time.

He didn’t get much sleep that night, thinking of the things that would never be. When he finally accepted what was, he was able to appreciate all he’d had and find enough peace to go to sleep.


	16. Long Distance Call

“Moment’s gone.” Dean said. He reached over and handed Sam a beer and then took a swig himself.

Sam popped the top on his beer and took a long swallow. He chuckled and looked at Dean, who had a smirk on his face. “So… seriously… no poem? Cuz… I feel like there’s a haiku in there…”

Dean snorted. “Gee, I was hoping for something rhymy… or at least iambic pentameter…”

Sam raised an eyebrow in surprise. 

Dean tossed him an insouciant look. “Yeah, that’s right, Sammy. Your old bro knows a little something about poetry!”

Sam smiled, sipped his beer and composed in his head. “Ok… your poem. ‘You have a contract, working together we will, destroy it. Fuck me.’ Haiku baby!” Dean shook his head. Sam added. “That last part was an invitation… in case that wasn’t clear.”

Dean set down his beer, rose to his feet and went over to his brother. He took Sam’s beer, placing it on the table and then he pushed him back onto the bed. Dean straddled Sam, looking down at a face that he loved so much. 

“I got your invitation, Sammy.” Dean kissed Sam once, twice. “But what if I want you to fuck me?” Dean smiled at Sam, letting his emotions flash over his face.

Sam saw the need to be taken – possessed and loved – in Dean’s eyes. Without saying a word, Sam rolled Dean off of him and onto his back. One long, smooth move that left Dean breathless with anticipation. Sam worked on stripping off Dean’s clothes, taking his time and putting his love into his touches. 

When Dean was naked before him, Sam stood up and shed his own clothes. He went to his duffel to grab their lube and before walking back to Dean, Sam stopped and poured some lube into his hand. Slowly he began stroking his cock to full hardness, watching Dean watch him.

Dean bit his lip and watched those big hands slide up and down over Sam’s cock. He realized then that Sam was jacking off for him to watch openly. Dean could still picture an 18 year old Sam furiously jacking off behind bushes in the woods behind miscellaneous motel rooms, Dean yards away, watching him surreptitiously without Sam realizing it. 

Now Sam was openly stroking himself and looking right into Dean’s eyes. The look in Sam’s eyes was heated – feral, almost – as he watched Dean’s cock grow to full arousal without being touched… just from watching Sam touch himself.

Dean thought he might come without Sam even touching him. The sound of Sam’s wet hand tugging on his own cock… it reminded Dean of how sometimes he’d get Sam’s ass so wet, he could hear – not just feel – how soaked it was. And Dean found that so fucking hot.

Sam noted that Dean’s cock was oozing precome, almost continually… the precome pooling on his stomach. Sam slowed his stroking and went to Dean, spreading his legs to begin his prep. Dean spread and raised his legs so that Sam had full access to him. Sam wasted no time getting to work, efficiently lubing and sliding, teasing and then fingering his brother’s ass. 

Prep didn’t take nearly as long these days. They were both better at it and both had mastered learning to relax and accept what was being given to them. They had never really discussed who would top or bottom. They just did whatever they felt, like they had agreed the first time they really talked about what had happened between them.

They liked it that way. It felt… spontaneous and adventurous… never knowing which way things were going to go until they were in the heat of the moment.

“Ready… Sammy… please…” Dean moaned. Sam moved up and smoothly entered his brother in a slow, steady thrust. Dean was panting as Sam’s cock bottomed out inside him. Dean looked into Sam’s eyes. He said nothing but Sam knew what he needed. Sam grabbed Dean’s legs and pushed them up, draping them over his shoulders.

“You’re mine, Dean…” Sam rasped as he began to pound into his brother. Sam kept up a rhythmic pace for several minutes as Dean rolled his hips and moaned under him. Sam knew they wouldn’t last long if he took care to drag his cock over Dean’s prostate with his thrusts, so he increased his pace when he found the right angle. 

It wasn’t long before Dean’s untouched cock was jerking and pulsing, come spurting out onto their chests and stomachs.

“Fuck… god, Sammy… yeah.. you feel so fucking good…” Sam could feel the contractions inside of Dean as he came and that was enough to send him over the edge. Sam’s groans were loud and long as he came. Dean reached to pull Sam into him as deep as he could go. Sam kissed Dean as the last waves of his orgasm coursed through him.

Sam kissed Dean languidly as they came down from their shared high. Several minutes later, he rolled off of Dean and pulled him close, kissing him, whispering to him about how much he loved him, how he always would. 

Dean said nothing; he just held on and absorbed Sam’s adoration. Sam knew how Dean felt about him. Dean had given his life for Sam’s. What more was there to say?

As Sam fell asleep in Dean’s arms, Dean thought about how their relations were getting more intense the closer the end got.

There were times Dean wondered if their passion for one another would overtake everything they had yet to do. He decided it didn’t matter; he was going to cherish every moment with his brother, regardless of the consequences.


	17. Time Is On My Side

“I’ll see you in hell.” Dean said before cutting the connection with Bela.

Dean felt bad leaving Bela to fend for herself on a human level. He didn’t, however, care that Bela’s deal came due. She was a shit human being; selfish, narcissistic, insufferable. Dean wasn’t happy about his deal coming due, but at least, he thought, his deal was altruistic – his life for Sam’s.

“Lilith… she owns your contract?” Sam asked, his face a mask of worry and fear.

Dean looked over at Sam, seeing his fear right there under the surface. “Aw, Sammy… I know… this sucks. Everything sucks.” Dean pounded his hand on the steering wheel. “Fuck!” Dean sighed and fought back his tears. Ultimately he lost.

“I’m sorry, Sammy… for what you’re gonna have to deal with when I’m gone.” Dean said softly through his tears. “I’m sorry that I’m gonna break your heart, Sammy. Never wanted that, but here we are and there’s nothing we can do.”

Sam blinked rapidly, trying to hold back his emotions. “I’m gonna save you, Dean. I am. I swear…”

“No, Sammy. You have to accept what is. And I want you to know, I would do it again just to have this last year with you… being with you… yeah, brother… I’d do it all again.”

Sam let out a sob and rubbed furiously at his eyes, trying to get himself under control. He let out a long breath and tried hard for a small smile. “I love you, Dean. Always. You’ll always be my one true love.”

Dean reached over and took Sam’s hand. “Sammy, that was romantic. In a perfect world, we’d have been in bed after hours of mind blowing sex when you said that to me. Since we’re in the car, I’m just gonna tell you your timing sucks.” Dean smirked at Sam, hoping he would take the cue and lighten up the atmosphere a bit. 

If Dean hadn’t cracked a joke, he would have had to pull over and throw himself on the ground in hysterics.

Sam could see Dean’s desperation and he’d known his brother long enough to understand his defense mechanisms; he loved Dean and accepted this part of him, along with all of his other quirks. Sam squeezed Dean’s hand and then punched him in the arm. 

“Is that so? Well, in my opinion, in a perfect world, you’d be giving me a blow job right now; so I guess we don’t always get what we want when we want it.”

Dean barked out a laugh and pulled the Impala to the side of the road. He got out of the car and ran around the front of it to the passenger side, where he wrenched open the passenger door. Sam looked up at him in surprise.

“What’re you doing, Dean?”

Dean dropped to his knees and reached for his brother’s belt. “Giving you a blow job, Sammy.”

Sam’s eyes went comically wide. “What? You can’t do that… we’re on the side of a highway!”

Dean unzipped Sam’s pants and began tugging them down. “Sammy… I got barely any time left. If I wanna blow you on the side of this fucking road, I’m gonna do it. I don’t give a fuck who sees how much I need you.”

Sam’s cock was just starting to respond to Dean’s intent as Dean pulled Sam’s boxers down. Dean sucked Sam into his mouth and began using his very talented tongue to tease his cock into full arousal. Dean groaned as Sam’s cock swelled in his mouth. He loved that sensation.

Sam placed his hands on Dean’s head, not holding it too hard, just scratching his scalp and caressing him as he worked his magic. Dean wrapped his hand around Sam’s cock as he worked to free his own cock. As he sucked Sam to the point of orgasm, Dean jerked himself off, too. Dean came moments before he felt Sam’s cock pulsing, shooting his come down his throat.

Dean held Sam’s cock in his mouth until it was soft. Then he pushed a totally relaxed Sam back onto the bench seat and then draped himself over him. Dean looked down at Sam and smiled before kissing him gently, sweetly, slowly. Sam savored the feeling of Dean’s incredible lips taking his… Sam could taste himself on his brother’s tongue. 

Sam wrapped his arms around Dean and held him close. When Dean broke their kiss, he lowered his head and whispered into Sam’s ear. 

“You’re the love of my life, Sammy… my one true love. Thank you for the happiness you’ve given me… I’m the luckiest son of a bitch who ever lived.” Dean kissed Sam’s neck softly.

When Sam’s tears came, Dean just held him close and kissed those tears away.


	18. No Rest for the Wicked (Prelude)

Their last night together was spent at Bobby’s. It didn’t make for the most romantic of times, but that was ok with Sam and Dean; knowing what the next day held in store for them both didn’t have them feeling amorous. They felt desperate.

Bobby had made them dinner. He did his best to put a good meal on the table. Dean left a lot of it untouched; it felt too much like a last meal on death row for him to really enjoy it. Sam hovered, trying to coax Dean to eat but he eventually gave up.

When they were done eating, Bobby told the boys to go spend some time together and he’d clean up after them. Sam and Dean ascended the stairs. About half way up, Bobby saw Sam slip his hand into Dean’s. Bobby spent a lot of time trying to not think about what was happening above him as he wiped the dishes dry. Occasionally he’d use the dishcloth to wipe at his eyes. He couldn’t stop his tears from falling.

Upstairs, Sam was holding Dean close to him. Just hanging on, burying his nose in Dean’s hair, trying to memorize his brother’s scent, how he felt against him… how it felt to hold him. Dean had his eyes closed and let his brother’s love wash over him. 

Moments from the last year ran through his brain. The hunts, the failures in their search for a way out of his deal… but mostly Dean thought of Sam. Sam smiling at him over his salad at Fogo in Minneapolis. Sam holding him as they slept at night. Sam wrapping his legs around him as Dean slid inside him. Thrusting into Sam, pressed so tightly together, as Sam whispered words of love to him.

When Sam felt Dean’s tears fall on his chest, he rolled Dean onto his back, hovering over him. “Hey…” Sam whispered as he kissed Dean’s tears away. “It’s ok… I’m here. We still have time…”

Dean stared up into his brother’s eyes. He wrapped his arms around him and pulled him down for a kiss. “Need you inside me, Sammy…” Dean whispered into the dark.

Sam got up and went to his duffel, grabbing their lube. He quickly went back to the bed and slid back under the covers with Dean. Dean spread his legs as Sam slid his lubed fingers across Dean’s sensitive flesh. Sam kissed Dean deeply and slowly as he prepped his brother gently.

It wasn’t long before Dean broke the kiss and whispered, “I’m ready, Sammy…”

Sam rolled back on top of Dean and lined himself up. Sam slid into his brother, memorizing the feeling of his cock penetrating his brother. The wet heat enveloped his cock, causing him to shudder. Sam pushed deeper. When he was as far as he could go, he looked down at Dean.

“You’re mine, Dean.” He said softly. “You’ll always be mine. And I’ll always be yours.”

Dean nodded, “Always, Sammy… no matter what happens tomorrow, I’m gonna love you as long as the universe exists. And if it’s possible to love you past that, I’ll love you then, too.

Sam made love to his brother. Soft kisses full of love and adoration mixed in with dirtier kisses full of need and desire as he thrust his cock into Dean. Dean kept his eyes open, furiously trying to put this memory of Sam in a place he could count on no matter what happened in the pit. 

They tried to be quiet, but Dean moaned loudly when he came all over Sam’s hand. Sam brought his hand to his mouth, licking Dean’s come off his fingers. Dean didn’t have to ask why… he knew Sam wanted to remember his taste. Sam cried as he came deep inside Dean.

Dean held Sam inside him with his legs, holding him close. “I’m sorry I’m gonna be leaving you alone, Sammy.” Dean whispered as Sam cried in his arms. “I just couldn’t be without you. It was selfish… but I don’t regret it. This year with you was worth it.”

Sam kissed Dean’s neck and said nothing. He was far too emotional to say anything. Dean continued to hold Sam close. Sam’s cock was still inside him and he wanted it there as long as he could have it. Sam eventually cried himself to sleep. When Dean felt Sam’s cock slip out of him as he slept, he let his tears fall. 

“Last time.” he thought. 

His last time with his beautiful brother was over and in hours he’d be in hell. Dean closed his eyes. He replayed the last hour with his brother, committing it to memory. He would have nothing in hell except his memories of Sammy. He hoped it would be enough to keep him human.


	19. No Rest for the Wicked (Postlude)

Sam looked down into Dean’s vacant eyes. Tears streamed down his face as he cradled his brother’s broken body in his arms. 

“Oh god…” Sam moaned over and over as he tried to pull his brother closer. Sam could feel the dead weight… no response from Dean at all. He felt like his chest was being crushed. His sobs turned into gasps. He wanted to die, anything to just get away from the pain.

When Bobby reached the door to the office in which Dean had died, he saw a distraught Sam, wailing in distress as he tried to get Dean’s arms around him. Sam just kept screaming, “No!” over and over… over and over. He thought he might never be able to stop.

When Dean’s arm fell off Sam’s shoulder for a fifth time, Sam frantically placed kisses all over Dean’s face, his tears streaming down his face and falling onto Dean’s, mixing with the blood there. Sam threw his head back, his eyes shut tightly against the sight of his brother’s bloodied body, and he just screamed the primal, visceral scream of a terrified animal that had been mortally wounded.

Bobby wanted to rush to Sam, but he was immobilized by the memory of Dean screaming out into the night at Cold Oak, a dead Sam in his arms. Bobby closed his eyes, fighting back tears. He couldn’t believe he had to bear witness to this very same scene again. Bobby slowly opened his eyes and tried to get himself back under control.

Sam was stroking Dean’s cheek with his thumb, still crying as he tried to love his brother back to life. “I love you, I love you, I love you…” Sam whispered frantically as he tried to understand that Dean was, in fact, gone.

Bobby didn’t even flinch when Sam kissed his brother’s lips again and again as he said, “Please, please, please… no… Dean… don’t leave me… don’t leave me…”

Sam was still kissing Dean’s lips and face when Bobby knelt down next to him, placing a gentle hand on Sam’s shoulder. “He’s gone, son.” Bobby said softly, repeating the words he’d once said to Dean.

Sam looked up in anguish. “Oh god… Bobby…” he cried. “He can’t be… I can’t… I can’t…”

Bobby felt tears gather in his eyes again. When he’d had to kill his demon-possessed wife so many years ago, Bobby had been devastated, distraught… horrified. But now that he’d seen Dean and Sam both trying to process that the other one was gone, he realized that he’d never seen a love like these two boys shared. 

Bobby remembered then that John had once told him Missouri had said the boys were soul mates. John had scoffed and Bobby had just filed it away as a rare instance of Missouri being wrong.

But it was so clear now. The need… the love… there was no other explanation. And that terrified Bobby when he thought about what Sam was now facing.

Bobby sighed as he squeezed Sam’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Sam… he’s gone. Dean’s gone. Let’s take him home.” Bobby stood and waited for Sam to gain control of his emotions. 

Sam wasn’t ready to go. He cupped Dean’s face with his hand. “Dean…” he whispered before slowly lowering his head to capture his brother’s lips. Sam’s face was a mask of pain as he kissed his brother for the very last time. “Dean…” he whispered before breaking into sobs again.

Bobby retreated to the door of the office, wiping his tears away. Sam was going to be a damn mess in the upcoming weeks. Bobby would be there for him. If he’d let him be there. He was afraid Sam was going to try to make a deal. No. He knew Sam was going to try to make a deal and he was equally as certain that he wouldn’t be able to stop it.

Dean had been inconsolable when Sam had been killed. He didn’t see this going any differently… except for the fact that Sam would likely be unable to find anyone to take whatever he had to offer in exchange for Dean.

Bobby was facing away from Dean and Sam, trying to give Sam his privacy. Sam scared him shitless when he put his hand on Bobby’s shoulder. “Fuck!” Bobby yelped.

A dazed-looking Sam faced Bobby. “I need towels – some wet, some dry.” Sam said before adding, “And a sowing kit. Can you get that for me?”

Bobby looked at Sam in sympathy. “Sure, Sam.”

Sam nodded as he turned back toward Dean. “And a change of clothes for him, Bobby. Bring that, too.”

Bobby did as Sam asked and watched sadly as Sam tried to put his brother back together. It was clear to Bobby that Sam had no plans for a hunter’s burial. And Bobby knew exactly why that was and it scared him.

As Sam worked, he made his plan. He didn’t care about Lilith. He didn’t care about Ruby. He didn’t care about anything other than taking care of his brother. He was going to put his brother’s body back together and then find a way to get him back. Period.


End file.
